The Therapist Poetry Podcast

Hello everybody, and welcome to episode three of Healing with Poetry. Today, we’re here with Haley, who is an integrative counsellor from Freedom Counselling Guernsey. We’re going to go straight in with your poem, which is about suicide and suicidal ideation. So, yeah, over to you, Haley.

Haley:
Okay, thanks, Ricky. So this is a poem I’ve entitled Suicidal Part.

I feel so rejected, alone.
Promised support, simple and plain.
Then, in the blink of an eye,
It was taken away,

And now I feel confused, angry, hurt, and pain.

I hear mixed messages of safety, care, and help,
But now I feel wounding, a failure, injustice,
Prejudice, judgment, and shame against myself.

I was honest and vulnerable,
And where did that lead?

I’ve been stabbed in my heart.
The message I hear loud and clear:

I’m a nuisance, not wanted, a liability..
No one likes this suicidal part.
No one wants to hear from her,
Accept her feelings, her sadness, her rage, or fear.

They just want to get rid of her,
Throw her away like some rubbish that no longer exists.
Rejection is painfully clear,
Blinded by their triggers,

They refuse to embrace and hear from her.

They fear I am unstable,
But I have courage, and I am strong and fantastically able,
A human who can show up no matter what,

With many parts—some exhausting, I agree,
But some golden and capable—not just a suicidal part.

How can I trust others when everyone lets you down?
I reach out for help, take a risk,

And then it’s used against me like some sick joke or drama twist.
Yes, suicidal ideation is a part of me,
And I know that part so well,
But please don’t hide behind policies,

Your own shadows, fears, and wounding’s,
Because I am more than this suicidal part.

I’m a human with feelings,
With many positive attributes,

Just trying to work on my own wounded heart,
And suicidal ideation is just one wounded part.

Ricky:
Wow, thank you so much for sharing that with everybody, Haley. I can only imagine how much that’s going to help. Suicidal ideation is such a big subject, but also still slightly taboo. I can imagine there are lots of people out there who aren’t quite able to express how they’re feeling, and I love the way you express that in your poem—how it’s just a part of you.

Haley:
Yeah, it’s just a part of me.

Ricky:
Thank you so much for sharing that.

Haley:
It’s a pleasure. Yeah, poetry is a really good way of expressing, I think, your deepest emotions—and writing songs, you know, which I often do both. So sometimes, when I’m struggling with different things, I’ll write a poem or write a song. For me, those words often come from a deeper place, and you can share from a deeper place. It’s a different language, I guess, to be able to use it in poetry and things like that. So, yeah, it’s helped me in the past through my training. It helps me with difficult client work, and it helps me in lots of ways, really. It’s a creative way of using words.

Ricky:
Well, thank you so much for sharing your poem with us, and also for letting everyone know just how powerful poetry can be in getting to those feelings that are quite hard to express in any other way. Thank you very much for coming in, and I wish you all the best.

Haley:
Okay, thanks for having me, Ricky. It’s great to have you.

Ricky:
Thank you.